Words and Things

Simon had his first cold recently. My sister and Aidan came to visit 2 weeks ago, and I think Aidan brought a cold with him. Both Simon and I got sick, but nothing too bad, just a lot of snot! That didn't stop us from having fun with Karen and Aidan, though. We went swimming, visited a petting zoo, ran around outside, had a slumber party, and did other fun things. Simon was thrilled to be around Aidan. He doesn't know any other little kids (although Aidan prefers to be called a "big kid"), and he was excited to make a friend (as much as an 11-month-old can make a friend). Unfortunately, I think Simon's teething again--he had some pretty cranky and touchy moments while Karen and Aidan were here, and he still acts like his gums are bothering him every now and then.

Here are some things that Simon knows:

* The word "more." When he wants more of something he says "moh." It's cute.

* If I ask, "Where is your mouth?" he touches his mouth.

* If I ask, "Where are your ears?" he grabs one of his ears. I don't know how he learned this. I've only casually mentioned that those things on the sides of his head are called "ears."

* If I ask, "Where's the bunny rabbit?" he touches one of his stuffed bunnies.

* If I ask, "Where is Elmo?" he touches his Elmo toy.

* If I ask, "Where is the Tickle Pig?" he touches a little pink stuffed pig. I named him the Tickle Pig because he loves to tickle Simon's feet. That pig sure loves to tickle!

* If I ask, "Where is Total Sweetie?" he grabs this horrible stuffed-potato-wearing-a-straw-hat toy that Michael jokingly named Total Sweetie. Do understand, Michael bought this rotten thing at a thrift shop two years ago. Why? Sheer contrariness, I guess. Simon made the choice to incorporate it into his playtime.

Okay, let's speed this up. Simon also knows these words:

*Frog, duck, dog, kitty cat, ball, baby, up, down, airplane, car, Thomas (the Tank Engine), no.

I'm sure he knows more, but I can't think.

Now, what words does Simon say? Not many. He says: ball, baby, more, bye-bye, dog. He has been known to say mama and dada, but only rarely. He knows the words, he just doesn't like to say them.

My Thunder, Stolen

Sunday morning at 5:30, while rocking Simon back to sleep, I noticed a faint smoky smell I hadn't noticed in my bedroom. After I put Simon back in his crib I wandered around the house, trying to find the source of the smell. Our house did not appear to be on fire. Were the neighbors sitting around a roaring fireplace so early in the morning? I woke Michael up. He checked the back yard and said he didn't smell anything, which wasn't what I wanted to hear. That meant the smoke was coming from somewhere in our house. "Maybe the attic is on fire," Michael suggested. We sniffed around some more but came up with no clues. We went back to bed for two minutes before worry got me up again. I went out the front door and was hit with a blast of incredibly smoky air. There was a fire somewhere nearby. How Michael didn't smell this when he checked the back yard is beyond me, but maybe his nose was still asleep. I dragged him outside to help me locate the flames, but we couldn't see any. It was 6 a.m. and a bit chilly. I accidently closed the front door, locking us out. How tv sitcom of me! Luckily, a back door was unlocked and hardship was averted. We went back to sleep.

The next morning I checked the news and found out that the fire had been fairly nearby and had burned 3 acres before being extinguished by several teams of firemen. Imagine that! A fire in Sherman Oaks. I called my parents and my mom answered. "What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be at church?" I asked. "I guess you haven't been watching the news," she said. True, I hadn't. I had only searched the Internet for news of a fire in Sherman Oaks. One that had burned 3 WHOLE ACRES! My mom then started telling me about the huge fire in the forest and canyons just miles from my parents' house. It had already burned many hundreds of acres and my parents were expecting evacuation orders any moment. My crappy 3 acres wasn't really worth mentioning now. Dang.

Anyway, they're fine. The winds seem to have blown the fire farther away from their house, but things could change. Yesterday, to get to my parents' house I had to take an odd "back door" kind of route to get around the roadblocks. One of those streets I took yesterday has now been consumed by the fire. Today an apparently homeless man and his dog were killed in the fire just a block or two from where I was yesterday. Horrible.

Senator McCain Wants You To Know...

that he knows things. Last night's boring debate mainly served to show me how many times McCain says he KNOWS how to do something or KNOWS what it's like to experience something. Here is the rundown:

* "And we've got to give some trust and confidence back to America. I know how to do that, my friends."

* "But I know how to get America working again, restore our economy and take care of working Americans."

* "And I've been supporting those and I know how to fix this economy, and eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, and stop sending $700 billion a year overseas."

* "We're going to have to sit down across the table, Republican and Democrat, as we did in 1983 between Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neill. I know how to do that."

* "I know that we can reprocess the spent nuclear fuel. The Japanese, the British, the French do it. And we can do it, too."

* "So you have to temper your decisions with the ability to beneficially affect the situation and realize you're sending America's most precious asset, American blood, into harm's way. And, again, I know those situations."

* "But the point is that I know how to handle these crises. And Senator Obama, by saying that he would attack Pakistan, look at the context of his words. I'll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I'll get him. I know how to get him. I'll get him no matter what and I know how to do it."

* "I know what it's like in dark times. I know what it's like to have to fight to keep one's hope going through difficult times. I know what it's like to rely on others for support and courage and love in tough times. I know what it's like to have your comrades reach out to you and your neighbors and your fellow citizens and pick you up and put you back in the fight."

In contrast, here is the one time Obama said that he KNOWS something: "But here's what I do know: I know that I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for the fact that this country gave me opportunity."

That's pretty much what I took away from the debate. It was mostly the same old thing, with the same old talking points.

Oh, Just Things...

What the hell do you title a grabbag of random information? I rest my case.

Simon had his 9-month checkup today. He'll be 11 months old in 10 days, but his doctor was booked solid until now. His weight is still off the chart, but he's now an exciting 16 pounds, 0.4 ounces! The doctor says he's following his own growth curve and is doing fine. He hasn't grown much lengthwise. He's 27.6 inches long. There was a big (and surprising) growth spurt in the last month, however: Simon's head has blossomed to 18 inches in circumference, putting him in the 50th percentile. My little monstro is average-sized somewhere!

In the doctor's waiting room, Simon was gregarious and ready for action. He wanted to go up to all the little kids and... what? I don't know, play with them, I guess. There was a two-or-three-year-old boy playing with one of the waiting room activity blocks, and Simon walked right up to him and said, "Aa-eh!" This is his all-purpose word, said in a rising tone. It usually means, "I want that!" The little boy was shy and didn't know what to make of Simon. The boy's older brother said to him, "Dile 'hi,'" ("Say 'hi'"), but the boy just stared at Simon. Simon wanted to be walked around the waiting room so he could look at everything. He went up to a couple of babies and toddlers in their strollers and made noises at them. None of the other kids were interested in being his friend, but the parents found him charming.

Inside the examining room, things changed. Simon was crabby. He didn't want his clothes taken off and he didn't want anyone touching him. He didn't even like just waiting for the doctor to come in. He just wanted out of there. He got a flu shot at the end of the visit, and of course he cried, but not any harder than when the doctor was examining his ears. In fact, he calmed down faster after the shot than after the ear check.

Simon has learned how to clap his hands. He's very proud. If you ask him, "Can you clap your hands?" he stops what he's doing and claps. He also says ball ("bah") and "baby," but not reliably. He sometimes calls everything "bah." But he knows what I'm talking about if I say, "Where's the ball?" And if I say, "Simon, where's the baby?" he looks around the room for the baby doll and smiles at it.

Yesterday afternoon Simon did not want me out of his sight. I got Michael to watch him while I took a shower, and I could hear Simon crying from the other room. While I was washing my hair, Michael opened the door and carried Simon into the bathroom so he could see Mommy. I wasn't pleased. I can't even take a shower in peace. And it didn't calm Simon down. He wanted me to hold him and he was still crying. Stressful. So I rushed my shower, barely dried off, got mostly dressed, and took Simon in my arms for a few minutes. Geez! I asked Michael why he couldn't let me enjoy a few minutes alone, and he said that Simon wouldn't stop crying for me. Is that a good reason? I don't think so.

I Don't Like Sarah Palin

That exaggerated folksiness is really annoying. And how many times can she tell us what a "consummate maverick" John McCain is? Does anyone buy that? She's like some creepy saleswoman trying to push her product, forever touting its "maverickness" with a maniacal smile. If she were speaking to me in person, I'd be desperately thinking of a way to flee. I'm not impressed. It's not enough to endlessly repeat this "maverick" bullshit. It's reality that matters more.

And why does she pronounce it "nuc-you-ler"? Dear God!