So Far So Good

Tomorrow some "real" painters are going to start working on the house. They say it'll take two-to-three days to do everything. That's what I like to hear. If we had left things up to Wingus and Dingus, it's not an exaggeration to say that the painting would have gone on for another three weeks! At least! That would have pushed me into the murder-suicide mindset. Okay, not really.

We hired some cleaning wizards (no sarcasm here) to clean the plaster dust from the floors and other surfaces, and they did a fantastic job. I was beginning to think there was something about this house that brought out the worst in everyone, but these people did quality work. We had previously tried Merry Maids on two different occasions, but they sucked and were expensive. I was starting to get used to sucky expensive work.

I've been so annoyed by all the commotion in my house that I've kind of forgotten that it's a really nice place. It's a great house. I'm just sick to death of half-finished projects and endless mess and noise. And Simon doesn't like it either. He needs room to explore without Mommy ruining his fun by snatching him away from workers' tools and plaster.

Here he is, scrubbed free of plaster dust:

Driving

Yesterday afternoon at 5:30 I put Simon in my car and headed out to my parents' house. I carefully chose that time to coincide with Simon's afternoon nap, so he would sleep most of the way and spare me the crying and screaming. It didn't work so well, though. He screamed for 20 minutes before falling asleep. Bumper-to-bumper traffic and Simon screaming most of the way. He really lost it. After awhile I could tell he was trying to stop crying but couldn't. He was just hysterical. I'm sure my blood pressure spiked to a dangerous level. I was 10 minutes away from my parents' house when Simon finally conked out, leaving me with lots of time to kill driving around while he slept. On the bright side: if it hadn't been nap time, Simon would have screamed for the entire 30-minute drive. I guess I saved myself 10 minutes of screaming. Pretty sweet, eh?

I came back home today during his first nap (at noon), and I'll be going back to the parents' at around 5:30 again. Yes, I am subjecting myself to awful traffic and uncontrollable screaming. Why? Because it's preferable to spending the evening at my house. I still have stuff to do at home, so I'm planning on coming back again tomorrow morning. Yes, I found a new time to travel with Simon! Normally, he wakes up some time around 6 or 7 a.m. and then sleeps with me on the couch in his room for another hour or so. There is nowhere for us to snuggle and sleep together at my parents' house, so lately he's been denied his last hour or two of slumber. That hour or two is the key to my diabolical plan. I'll strap him in the car at 7 tomorrow morning and let him sleep as I drive back home. Isn't that just gorgeous?

Tomorrow we have a new painter coming to assess the damage and give us an estimate for finishing the job. We're stopping the gravy train for the current workers. They're out. Let's hope this new guy isn't a total bastard.

Baby Parade

Because the Kings Among Men who are patching and painting our house are still (yes, still) trudging bravely onward, Simon and I will again be going back to Nonna and Papa's. The poor little guy was crawling down the hallway last night, and halfway to his destination I realized that the floor is still lightly coated with plaster dust. I grabbed him up and saw his entire front dusted with white. There was a lot of screaming in our house last night. Because there was no clean spot for him to safely explore. I'm not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination, but when my child starts looking like a mime, the game is over. Sandra Bernhard once said, "I have no time for mime." I agree. Also, how f***ing healthy is it to breathe this dust? Every day there's a new f***ing deposit of the stuff. I don't have time to mop down every inch of floor every few hours. Simon's in the pull-up-on-everything-and-possibly-fall-over stage right now.

Sidebar: Who do I think I'm fooling with this "f***" crap? Why don't I just follow convention and go with "f*ck"? I don't know. Okay, you talked me into it. "F*ck" it is.

So, Simon will be carted to my parents' house and back home for awhile. It's a 30-minute drive and Simon hates being locked in his carseat for that long. So, I try to drive only at nap times so he can sleep most of the way. Simon only naps twice a day, once around noon and again around 5 p.m. This limits my travel options. He also only naps for 35-to-55 minutes at a time, which limits travel to a 30-mile radius. Unless I want to hear constant screaming. I don't. I need to come home tomorrow for awhile, so I'm planning that for his first nap, around noon. Then I'll go back to my parents' house during his second nap. Heads will f*cking (see?) roll if Simon changes his napping habits. I guess only one head will actually roll, and it will be mine. What if Simon decides he only wants one nap tomorrow? I'll be trapped at home. This ever-dusty hellhole of a home.

Fun with Nonna and Papa

Riding Poomba

Hangin' out with Nonna and Papa and Poomba.

Dancing

More fun times.

Simon "Walking"

Simon and I stayed at Nonna and Papa's house over the weekend. Simon had a blast. Here's Papa helping Simon walk around: